We asked one of our borrowers if she would share her story with you, the donors and supporters of Hebrew Free Loan that make stories like Allison’s possible. This is her story, in her own words.
After 12 years in a marriage with an emotionally abusive partner, I made the courageous and impossible choice to leave my marriage and file for divorce in order to protect myself and our children from my husband’s increasingly erratic and scary behavior.
My Jewish identity had been in flux since my early 20s. I was engaged and active in my home Jewish community until I suffered sexual abuse by a rabbi at 17 years old. I moved further and further away from my Jewish identity as I aged, and since my husband was against all organized religion, I adopted that path as my own as well.
As I geared up to leave my marriage, I started the process of returning to my long-lost roots, celebrating Shabbat, teaching my 11 year old Hebrew, attending a Passover Seder for the first time in 20 years.
In March of 2023, 3 months after I filed for divorce, I had to get a Protection from Abuse against my husband. The lawyer fees began to pile up, I was still working a full time job, and I was getting no financial support from my ex. My family had maxed out on what they could help me with, and I was digging myself in a terrible financial hole, full of credit cards and high interest loans.
I made too much money to qualify for legal aid programs and other financial support funds. I made too much money to gain access from the local domestic violence resource. I did not have enough time to hustle for “free money,” when what I wanted was to support my children, keep food on our table, and continue to parent and work at my job while gradually building up debt that I couldn’t pay back.
I reached out, then, out to the Jewish community and through a contact in the Jewish community and found Project Dinah. Sara Rosenberg from Project Dinah gave me the information for HFL Philly and I got communication instantly from them.
I was in the waiting room for my son’s occupational therapy appointment when Tamar Granor from HFL called me. I remember the errant noise from the therapy rooms, the full sized framed pictures of rocks and trees, the colorful wall painted purple. She asked me to tell her about my financial need and my Jewish identity. I remember the tears welling when I told her about the different types of abuse I had suffered, how the mistreatment by the rabbi at 17 seems to have led me straight into the arms of my damaging marriage, how I used to find safety in Judaism and I am working to find my way back.
Getting the loan with HFL was a gentle and easy process. The people were kind. They believed me when I felt like I being gaslit by my ex as well as the resources that had canceled me out because I was keeping my job and didn’t qualify for full financial aid.
The money from HFL helped me pay my legal fees until I could get to my house settlement.
During a time of uncertainty and challenge for Jews in the world, I felt held and supported by a community that I had previously thought could not hold me. I got exactly what I needed: money to float me through unthinkable hardship.
I write to you after paying back my loan in full, from a new house, primary custody of my children, and a safe space to build a new life after years of captivity and a year wandering a desert of uncertainty and financial challenge. I just celebrated my first Shabbat in my new little cottage with my children. Someday, I hope to pay forward the kindness that was bestowed upon me. I hope donors can hold the gratitude I have for them. I was given a true gift without strings and without having to parade my trauma out into the world.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Allison K.
November 2024
Read more about Allison’s story
Featured in this article from the Jewish Exponent.
Hebrew Free Loan Society of Greater Philadelphia is proud to support survivors of domestic abuse through our Shalom Bayit program. If you or someone you knows is a survivor of domestic violence, we strongly encourage you to contact our partners at Dinah for more resources and support from the Jewish community.